Back-to-School Mental Health: Strategies for a Smoother Start
Back-to-school season.
For some parents, it’s the sound of freedom: your small humans are headed back to class, and you can finally drink a cup of coffee while it’s still hot (or iced, because iced coffee is superior). For others—especially overwhelmed or sensitive parents—it’s more like standing on a roller coaster platform, waiting for the ride you didn’t totally agree to, clutching your iced latte like a life preserver.
And if you’re a highly sensitive parent? Every tiny detail about this season—the schedule changes, the new teachers, the endless supply lists—feels amplified. You’re not just buying notebooks; you’re carrying the emotional weight of everyone in the household.
Here’s the truth: back-to-school transitions are a lot. And pretending otherwise usually ends with you feeling frazzled, guilty, or like you’re failing when, spoiler alert—you’re not.
The good news? You can survive this season without losing your mind. You might even — dare I say it — find ways to make it smoother, calmer, and more enjoyable for you and your kids.
Below, I’ll share practical strategies to ease back-to-school stress, manage your own anxiety, and support your kids’ mental health through the transition. Bonus: no toxic positivity required.
Why Back-to-School Feels So Overwhelming (Even if You’ve Done It Before)
If you’re thinking, “It’s the same every year, so why does it still feel so hard?”—you’re not alone. Back-to-school isn’t just a logistical shift; it’s an emotional and sensory one.
Here’s what’s really going on:
Routine overhaul – Even small changes in wake-up times, transportation, or after-school activities can throw off your nervous system.
Emotional load – You’re not only managing your own feelings, but also holding space for your kids’ excitement, worries, and big emotions.
Decision fatigue – Lunches, outfits, homework, forms… the sheer number of small decisions adds up quickly.
Unresolved anxieties – Past experiences (yours or your child’s) can quietly resurface this time of year.
When you recognize these factors, it’s easier to be compassionate with yourself instead of asking, “Why am I freaking out over a pencil case?”
Step 1: Pack the Emotional Backpack First
We all focus on the supply list—pencils, binders, hand sanitizer that smells like a tropical drink—but what about your child’s emotional supplies?
An emotional backpack is filled with skills like:
Naming feelings
Problem-solving tools
Knowing who to go to for help
Confidence in trying new things
Start the conversation early. You might say:
“What’s one thing you’re looking forward to about school this year?”
“What’s something that’s making you a little nervous?”
“If you feel overwhelmed at school, what could help you feel better?”
Pro tip: You don’t have to fix every worry. Sometimes, the true magic is in listening and validating:
“Yeah, that does sound like a lot. I can understand why you’d feel nervous.”
This gives your kids permission to feel what they feel—and helps them learn that feelings aren’t “bad” or something to be squashed down.
Step 2: Protect Your Peace Like It’s Your Job (Because It Is)
If you’re an overwhelmed or highly sensitive parent, you know what it’s like to hit the overload point. Back-to-school is prime time for overwhelm—school meetings, parent-teacher nights, volunteer opportunities, sports sign-ups, and the never-ending group texts.
Here’s your permission slip to say no.
No to three PTA committees.
No to attending every single “optional” event.
No to baking 48 allergy-friendly cupcakes (unless you actually want to).
Instead, choose the commitments that matter most to your family’s values and capacity. Saying “yes” to everything might feel like you’re being a “good parent,” but saying “yes” to the right things makes you a present, grounded one.
Remember: your own emotional regulation is important. A regulated parent helps foster a regulated household.
Step 3: Build a Morning Routine That Doesn’t End in Tears (Yours or Theirs)
Mornings are a huge trigger for back-to-school stress. They set the tone for the whole day. If the morning is rushed, frantic, and tense, everyone carries that energy into their day.
Here are ways to make mornings smoother:
Prep the night before – Clothes out, backpacks ready, lunches made.
Wake up earlier than you think you need to – Even 10 extra minutes can make a difference.
Keep breakfast simple – Save the gourmet pancakes for the weekend. Packaged foods are ok! (and I’m an eating disorder therapist)
Build in a connection moment – A hug, a silly joke, or a quick game of “two things you’re looking forward to” can boost mood and confidence before heading out the door.
And if the morning still falls apart? Breathe. Laugh if you can. You’re not failing—it’s just one morning in a whole season.
Step 4: Recognize the Sneaky Signs of Overwhelm
Kids often don’t say, “I’m feeling stressed about school.” Instead, you might see:
More irritability or meltdowns
Clinginess at drop-off
Complaints of stomachaches or headaches
Changes in sleep or appetite
Parents? We have our own signs:
Snapping at small things
Feeling drained before the day even starts
Staying up too late to “get time to yourself” (and then regretting it the next day)
Losing patience with your kids or partner
Spotting these early means you can intervene before the stress escalates. Maybe that’s adding a quiet after-school routine, scheduling downtime on weekends, or reaching out for anxiety therapy to help you or your child navigate the season.
Step 5: Create a Transition Ritual
Transitions—like going from home to school—are tough for sensitive kids (and let’s be honest, for sensitive parents too). Creating a small ritual helps signal safety and consistency.
Ideas:
A special handshake or hug before drop-off
An affirmation (“You’ve got this, and I’ve got you”)
A little good-luck charm in their pocket
Listening to the same upbeat song on the way to school
These rituals act like emotional seatbelts, helping everyone feel more secure during a time of change.
Step 6: Regulate Yourself First (Thermostat, Not Thermometer)
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Kids don’t do what you say—they do what you do.” In emotional regulation, that’s 100% true.
Think of yourself as the thermostat—you set the emotional climate. If you’re steady and calm (most of the time), it helps your kids regulate too. If you’re constantly reacting to stress, they’ll mirror that.
Ways to regulate:
Deep breathing before responding
Grounding exercises (notice 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear…)
Stepping outside for fresh air
Using humor to diffuse tension
And no—you don’t have to be Zen 24/7. Being human in front of your kids (and apologizing when needed) teaches them resilience and emotional repair.
Step 7: Keep the Long Game in Mind
Back-to-school is just one season. Yes, it’s intense, but it’s also temporary. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s creating enough calm, connection, and stability to help everyone adapt.
When the inevitable rough mornings or meltdowns happen, remember:
One bad day does not define the whole school year.
Your worth as a parent isn’t measured by perfectly packed lunches or flawless attendance at every event.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your child’s mental health is to model self-compassion.
How Therapy Can Help
Parents often put themselves dead last on the priority list. But back-to-school transitions can be a big trigger for anxiety, especially if you already deal with low self-esteem, perfectionism, or chronic stress.
Feeling supported is a literal necessity to make it through seasons such as this. And the good news is there are lots of ways to incorporate some supportive practices in your life. These could include:
Nourishing your body and incorporating movement that feels good to you (if doable)
Time with friends who “get it”
Short daily practices like journaling or meditation
Professional support with a therapist that gets it
Individual therapy for helping yourself stay regulated during tough life transitions can be ridiculously helpful for your mental health (ie: keeping your shit together). This could look like exploring some of the underlying themes in your life that make it hard to feel regulated, dealing with past trauma that keeps you stuck in the same loop (check out how Brainspotting Therapy can help with healing), and having a safe space to just be…you (without the screaming children).
Getting help doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re prioritizing the well-being of the whole family.
Bottom Line
Back-to-school doesn’t have to be back-to-chaos. With some intentional boundaries, open communication, and sanity-saving habits, you can ease back-to-school stress, manage your own anxiety, and support your kids’ mental health through this transition.
If this season is already feeling heavy—whether for you or your child—you don’t have to push through it alone. I help overwhelmed, highly sensitive parents create calmer homes, manage anxiety, and support kids in feeling confident and emotionally secure.
Reach out to schedule a free consult about how we can make this school year feel less like a survival mission and more like a fresh start.
