How to Stop Dieting

When you read the title of this post, what was your initial reaction? Did you feel nervous, thinking that there was no way you could stop dieting? Did you feel relief to hear someone encouraging it? Did you stop to think about the last (or current) diet that you were on? Talking about dieting in our society has become so normalized that you might think that it’s “impossible” to even think about NOT dieting! Talking about how to stop dieting might feel scary and that is ok (and honestly a pretty normal reaction).

Most of us were taught from a very young age that we could not trust our bodies to make choices about what to eat (or not eat).

Going on a diet was felt to be the best answer to this problem! We may have had well-intended adults who were either on diets of their own, or so concerned about their (or our) bodies and being accepted in this world that they felt this was the only option.

The funny part is that if you look up the word “diet” in the dictionary, it first lists the original definitions of “food and drink regularly consumed,” and “habitual nourishment.” When did we turn the word diet into something meaning “a way of losing weight” or “how to manipulate our body?”

You might have been on a diet or two in your life and consider yourself a dieter. Chronic dieting, on the other hand, speaks to the act of being on diet after diet, possibly for months, years, or more. Many of us could easily fall into this category over our lifetime - trying every diet that came our way, and feeling desperate to “finally lose the weight.” If you are like 95% of others that have tried dieting, you have likely felt that you have “failed” and the weight just never quite came off (or came back over time).

If part of you is telling you that it’s time to get off the diet roller coaster, let’s address the why and how.

Scared to stop dieting?

The mere thought of stopping dieting might scare you so much it puts you into a tailspin. You may have been involved in chronic dieting for so long that you can’t even fathom how to eat normally (if such a thing exists). This might be causing a spike in anxiety and panic. I want you to take a deep breath and feel ok sitting in this suck. This is scary shit. It’s asking you to make an enormous shift and it’s ok to be scared.

You might be fearful of gaining weight or struggling to maintain the weight you are at. I’ve been there so I completely get it. You have potentially put in a huge amount of effort (both physically and mentally) into controlling your weight and you aren’t sure what will happen if you loosen the reins.

Here’s the honest (and sometimes not so easy to accept) truth - we don’t know what your body will do when you stop dieting.

You may gain weight, your weight might stay the same, or you may lose weight. We can’t predict it, and that can be scary as hell. Again - if you are feeling like your life is currently controlled by dieting and you are ready to let go, it will be worth it, I promise. You also might want to prep yourself with some body image work - check out my post about 5 Tips to Be Comfortable With Your Body (at any size).

You might also simply be scared of having to figure out what to eat. You may feel so out of touch with your hunger and fullness cues that you feel anxiety about figuring out what your body needs. The truth is that this might be difficult at first! It will take some time to recover from chronic dieting, and we will talk about this again in a bit. The important thing here is knowing that there is a way to live your life without constant thoughts of dieting and trying to change your body.

Why should I stop dieting?

Just like when we started, I want you to ask yourself about how dieting has impacted your life. Perhaps you find yourself thinking about food 24/7. Maybe your life revolves around your next meal and worrying about how you will make sure you are “sticking to your plan.” How much space is your diet taking up in your brain? How much space is left for the other parts of your life?

If dieting is taking up a significant amount of brain power - think about what else you could be doing in its place. Imagine all the other aspects of your life you could be focusing on instead.

If you have tried to stop dieting before and felt like it “didn’t work” (ie you gained weight or went back to another diet), you might feel nervous about trying again. Be honest with yourself and take a look at what happened afterwards. Did you just quit “cold turkey” and without a plan for how to move forward? Did you gain weight and viewed that as negative and like you were “doing the wrong thing?” Undoing your internal bias about weight is a whole other topic (with way too much information to include here!), but know that your thoughts about weight and your body have been shaped by a fatphobic society that tells us that larger bodies are not inherently worthy. It’s ok to sit in this feeling too, and know that it is normal and valid.

The first step is recognizing that you are, in fact, on a diet. This could mean a mainstream “diet plan” (think Keto, Weight Watchers, etc.), anything that has you counting “macros” or food groups, or any kind of food rules that you have in place. Yes, even that “lifestyle change” might be a diet.

Any time that you are manipulating what you are eating (outside of needing to do it for a medical condition), especially if you are trying to physically change your body in some way, you are on a diet.

Be honest with yourself - and no judgment here!

Once you have come to the realization that you are, or have been on a diet, please have some compassion for yourself. We don’t want to all of the sudden shift to placing blame on ourselves or anyone else for dieting behavior (we are learning to be anti-diet, not anti-dieter). You might all of the sudden feel like you don’t know what to do or what to eat! A great starting place is reading about intuitive eating and beginning to implement some of those principles. As an intuitive eating counselor and therapist in Tampa, I recommend clients start to focus on “what sounds good” and trying to get back in touch with their hunger and fullness cues.

This is not a quick or easy process! Trust that you can get back in touch with your body’s cues, it will just take time. See what happens if you allow yourself to eat what you are craving - even if it feels like you are eating more than usual, or eating things that you haven’t had in a while. Seeing a therapist or intuitive eating coach can be really helpful for this if you feel like it is a struggle to do it on your own.

How to recover from dieting

Once you make the decision to stop dieting, you might wonder “what now?” As I said above, trying to work towards intuitive eating can be a great first step. One of the important things to remember about intuitive eating is that focusing on “nutrition” is the last step in the process. This is for a reason - if we start to focus on this first, we miss all the steps in between about how to get in touch with what our body wants, and can turn intuitive eating into its own kind of “diet.”

Getting support while you go through this transition can be so important. For many of us, this shit is hard on our own! Like I said - working with a therapist who has experience with chronic dieting, disordered eating, or eating disorders can be a great first step. Support can also come in the form of groups, connecting with friends who have been or are going through this process, or finding an online community where others are talking about their struggles.

Learning how to stop dieting may not feel easy, but I can promise you that it’s worth it. Knowing that it’s a big deal to make this shift (especially in the society we live in) and being ready for the resistance and questions that might come up is your best bet for success. And remember there is no shame in taking your time un-dieting your life, and getting help if you need!

Interested in connecting with me to see if we would be a good fit to work together to help you stop dieting? Click the button below to connect with me!

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